[Update: Please note that I have removed the first name of Ms.
Kimberlin at her request and left only her first initial, “T.” She is, after
all, a victim of sexual abuse and those kinds of reasonable requests will be
honored. While the moral right to privacy
of rape victims is not absolute, it seems to be reasonably asserted here.]
And over at a site that I won’t
link to, Brett Kimberlin leapt to Schmalfeldt’s defense. Of course he didn’t identify himself as
Brett, but we all know it was him. And
as is often the case, his defense revealed more about himself than anything else.
First, he tried to dispute that
calling an Asian American woman a mail-order bride in this day and age was not
racist. We will take that assertion as
seriously as it deserves to be.
But then he goes into why a man
would want a mail order bride and this is the revealing part. Here is what he wrote:
I think today the
mail order bride business is still a booming trade. Many men who use these
services do so because they want women who are subservient to them and their
needs. They want cooks, people to take care of them, and sex partners. Usually
this service is used by men who can’t seem to get anyone in their own cultures
who will “put up with them” and the men who utilize such services want a woman
who won’t question them, who are younger, and who provide for them all just to
be able to get a green card. I think it is telling of course that Walker
couldn’t get an American woman to “put up with him” and sought a woman who
would worship him instead. Nothing bad about that mind you, but it is telling
of course.
Now, T. Kimberlin is not a
mail order bride. Brett didn’t pick her
out of a catalog, or even on some dating or marriage site.
Instead he met her on a beach in Ukraine when she was fourteen
(shiver). And then he transported her to
Maryland when she was fifteen where they had sex in violation of Maryland
law. Then he got married to her when she
was sixteen, and again he failed to comply with Maryland law, forging her birth
certificate to make her appear to be eighteen years old. That is not a mail order bride by any stretch
of the imagination. It is instead the abusive
seduction of a child.
But Brett Kimberlin and his
friends often called her a mail order bride, regardless. And so if Brett Kimberlin thought of her as
one, well, what does that reveal about him when he talks about this trade that
he considers himself to be intimately involved in? Read what he wrote again, remembering that he
(wrongly) thought of T. as his mail order bride. Let me clear out some of the clutter. According to Kimberlin men use this service
because “they want women who are subservient to them and their needs.” They want servants: “cooks, people to take
care of them, and sex partners.” These
services are used by men who have trouble convincing American women (who might
have heard of the Speedway Bombings) to “put up with them” and they want a
woman “who won’t question them.” Indeed
he declares that such women will “worship him.”
Oh, and Brett informs us that people
seek mail order brides in order to get girls “who are younger.” Shiver.
That is probably the fantasy for
such men (except the pedophilic angle, one hopes), but it cannot be reality. I suspect that the majority of true mail
order brides are women who are planning to dump their American partners the
moment they have their citizenship.
Being a mail order bride is just a more exotic version of gold-digging, which
in all bluntness is a higher class form of prostitution and often the gold
digger leaves once he or she gets their payday, be it in cash or in kind. Worship is probably not induced by such an
arrangement, but I wouldn’t be surprised if such women fake it.
But a girl too immature to handle
a sexual relationship being seduced into marriage with a much older man? That can produce genuine worship.
However, worship is not the
foundation for a solid relationship.
Instead you must have mutual respect and love. Which is why today my marriage is solid despite
the strain Brett has tried to put on it, and Brett’s is falling apart, because
for Brett his relationship was about control.
Like with everything else in life, he doesn’t seek to influence others
by kindness but by bullying others, including his own wife. And just as he has failed at every stage to
see how his bullying of me (and others) did not help to suppress the truth
about him, he failed to understand how his bullying of his wife destroyed his
marriage more surely than anything she did in response. You do not convince a person to come back to
you by trying to get them falsely imprisoned or by threatening violence against
them. At most it only might work
temporarily.
In the end, Brett Kimberlin has a
stunted view of life. For him it is all
about controlling that which could hurt him whether it is an attorney who has
absolute proof Brett tried to frame him for a crime...
...or seducing an underage girl
to be his wife so he can overwhelm her personality, and then lashing out at her
viciously when she wakes up from his spell.
His pain is normal, but his response is not. The only thing he knows how to do in response
to pain, fear, etc. is to lash out, to abuse the person he blames for this pain (which is often in truth self-inflicted) through the court system and hope to silence the critics and bring his wife
back home.
In other words, when it comes to
myself, Seth Allen, Robert Stacy McCain, Patrick Frey, Popehat, Lee Stranahan
and Mandy Nagy (and others) he has practiced what has been described as “brass
knuckle reputation management.” And when
it came to his wife, he has been practicing brass knuckle romance.
And both tactics have been
equally successful.
---------------------------------------
Disclaimer:
I have accused some people,
particularly Brett Kimberlin, of
reprehensible conduct. In some cases, the conduct is even
criminal. In all cases, the only justice I want is through the
appropriate legal process—such as the criminal justice system. I do not want to see vigilante violence
against any person or any threat of such violence. This kind of conduct is not only morally
wrong, but it is counter-productive.
In the particular case of Brett Kimberlin,
I do not want you to even contact him.
Do not call him. Do not write him
a letter. Do not write him an email. Do not text-message him. Do not engage in any kind of directed
communication. I say this in part
because under Maryland law, that can quickly become harassment and I don’t want
that to happen to him.
And for that matter, don’t go on
his property. Don’t sneak around and try
to photograph him. Frankly try not to
even be within his field of vision. Your
behavior could quickly cross the line into harassment in that way too (not to
mention trespass and other concerns).
And do not contact his
organizations, either. And most of all, leave his family alone.
The only exception to all that is
that if you are reporting on this, there is of course nothing wrong with
contacting him for things like his official response to any stories you might
report. And even then if he tells you to
stop contacting him, obey that request. That
this is a key element in making out a harassment claim under Maryland law—that
a person asks you to stop and you refuse.
And let me say something
else. In my heart of hearts, I don’t
believe that any person supporting me has done any of the above. But if any of you have, stop it, and if you
haven’t don’t start.
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