Update: Gee, it would help if I told you which time zone I was talking about! Thus the title of the post has been amended appropriately. Thanks to the awesomely nicknamed "Crewman #6" who highlighted this concern. He is truly plucky comic relief and not a red-shirted ensign.
Okay I have told you a big story was coming. I told you that it was very likely to be a blockbuster, with original reporting involved. I told you that I was going to reveal to the world for the first time that a crime was committed against me. I told you that I had absolute documentary and video proof of my claims that I would share with you. In other words, you wouldn’t have to trust my word; you would only have to trust your eyes.